I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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