totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
