nut hugger
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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