i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Semen is not good for contacts.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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