So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
