Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
