if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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