no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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