every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
