You made me cry and you don't even care
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
