Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
