Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
