i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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