Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
