wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
