Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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