I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
