I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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