You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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