don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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