All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
