My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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