haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
