My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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