do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
