So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
