wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
