i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
