is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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