Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
