it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
