Kiss
Puke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
