I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
