he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
