Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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