The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
