Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
