My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
