I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
