I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
