nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
