a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do vagina's smell?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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