PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
