Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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