So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize