She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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