Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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