I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
