It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
