My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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