And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize