i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
