I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
