That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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