No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
