As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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