No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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