uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
