I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's blow job season.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
