How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
