I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
