Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
