Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize