my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
