dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
