Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
