Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
