But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
