Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
