Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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